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Michael Kirkness

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Michael "Mouse" Kirkness

Michael "MouserScribe" Kirkness is easily the most inconsistent Eliter of all time.

Michael first appeared in The Elite in late 2006 and achieved a number of notable World Records in Goldeneye. He initially had a habit of taping over many of these WRs (including Cradle SA/00A 0:36) or destroying his tapes at parties etc, but eventually adopted a slightly better attitude on proving himself. He was the first to tie both Runway Agent 0:22 and Bunker 1 0:17, which were originally set by Bryan Bosshardt and Wouter Jansen respectively. Both these World Records had previously been untied for over two years.

In 2007, added catchy titles to the homepage and held a contest to find the hottest one-liners. Michael was the grand prize winner with his submission "Bosshardt can get from here to your house in 32 seconds on Agent".

Michael has so far achieved 33 WRs during a 10 year span, one of which was untied, Caverns SA 1:18. He is currently ranked 13th but has been ranked 10th in what is probably the most unconventional, uneven and inconsistent career any eliter have ever had.

Mouser also showed similar skill in Perfect Dark, and is currently ranked 14th. In April 2015, he briefly held an untied sweep on Mr. Blonde's Revenge with 1:10/1:13/1:23. Mouser is also fully proven in that game which is rather remarkable considering his inconsistency.

Mouser became the fifth player to obtain Defection Agent 0:05 and currently holds three untied WRs in Perfect Dark DLTK (Defection, G5 Building and Pelagic II).

In his spare time, Michael enjoys playing baseball, visiting nearby Eliter Alex Anderson, and mysteriously disappearing. Michael was completely absent from the-elite and gaming for six years (2008-2014) until he made an extremely surprising comeback where he also finally captured and uploaded the missing PR videos by Brandon Sanford.

Reasons why Mouser is the most inconsistent eliter of all time include:

  • You never know if or when he is playing or what he is playing.
  • Captured Brandon Sanford's missing PR videos (8 years after he received them) but never captured the tapes David Clemens sent to him at the same time.
  • Just before he made what is easily the most surprising apperance/comeback in Elite history in 2014, Michael joined The Elite Rankings under the name "Jack Krone". Shortly after, Mouser confessed Jack Krone was him and he came up with that name just to "test stuff" or something. After the confession, Jack Krone was, of course, immediately removed from the rankings whereas many players greeted the long-absent Michael.
  • Frequently hoards and releases PRs in random order.
  • Has never had a consistent timespage and will never have one.
  • For reasons unknown, Michael somehow decided to go for the untied WR on Defection DLTK. He completed a run in 1:29 thus beating the previous WR which was 1:38. 1:29 beats Michael's Perfect Agent PR of 1:38 (although, according to his PD file, his best PA time is 1:34). As expected, Michael never bothered to lower his LTK PR of 2:07 and he most likely never will.
  • Achieved quite a few PAL PRs on Perfect Dark but never updated them all and probably never will.
  • Whenever eliters think of the word "inconsistent", the majority of them immediately associate the word with Mouser.

Michael is a very skilled player who never should be left out or underestimated, but also extremely sketchy. Do NOT be surprised if he randomly disappears for a few years.

External Links

The 2008 Elite Summer Contest
Full Bracket | First Vote | Euro First Vote | Spread Betting | Matchups, Results & VotDs

Jimbo's Dead Weight
Clemens | Cara | Plum | Alecboy*
YE | Dayle | Food | Mgay
Jimbo | Mouse | Axel (OB) | Penev
Lec | Posterland | Boss | Berube

Ace | Cook | Moore | packattack
Sterling | Swaff | mostfrantic | Lovins
Matis | Sucram | DK | Zwartjes
Henrik | Darren | Dirk | Goose

din mor's bedroom
Wouter | Reds | ST | MLM
Wes | SZ | Comet | Graves
Otto | Axel Z | Red Bull | Graham
Paragon | mikers | Harvey | Silver Angel

...but I'm Not BloodE
PDO | Alex H | Coops | Youse
Phil H | BloodE | Wabs | Bozon
Illu | mallow | Triep | Alex A
bcks | wiff | gg | Patrik

Woll | ChodhE | Fro | PYL
Henning | Eise | Jones | Neo
Trent | Kingpin | marsh | drag
Mark R | octo | Leonardo | sdkess

Disco | Motox | Cyberwrath | Nodjo
Lark | QB | Kent | Vick
Jack | Simon | Infil | Dman
Expert | Come | Taka | Bizi

Very Very Fine
FB | Gragz | wheat | Greneby
Sam | Nate | Laércio | FW
Durk | Zeebo | Cervone | Matt8000
Greg K. | S. Eagle | Shade | Booth

Partying With Lemons
Karl | Thiradell | Fal | PSK
Luke | Sad | Zerg | Snap
SupaOdin | Garrett | kats | Shep
Nari | Matthijs | Bauer | MrGuru