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<b>pwns</b>
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[[Image:Mouse.jpg|thumb|Michael "Mouse" Kirkness]]
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Michael "'''MouserScribe'''" Kirkness is easily the most inconsistent Eliter of all time.
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Michael first appeared in [[The Elite]] in late 2006 and achieved a number of notable World Records in [[Goldeneye]].  He initially had a habit of taping over many of these WRs (including [[Cradle]] SA/00A 0:36) or destroying his tapes at parties etc, but eventually adopted a slightly better attitude on proving himself.  He was the first to tie both [[Runway]] Agent 0:22 and [[Bunker 1]] 0:17, which were originally set by [[Bryan Bosshardt]] and [[Wouter Jansen]] respectively. Both these World Records had previously been untied for over two years.
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In 2007, [http://www.the-elite.net the-elite.net] added catchy titles to the homepage and held a contest to find the hottest one-liners. Michael was the grand prize winner with his submission "Bosshardt can get from here to your house in 32 seconds on Agent". 
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Michael has so far achieved 33 WRs during a 10 year span, one of which was untied, [[Caverns]] SA [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmyO4D80qS4 1:18]. He is currently ranked 13th but has been ranked 10th in what is probably the most unconventional, uneven and inconsistent career any eliter have ever had.
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Mouser also showed similar skill in [[Perfect Dark]], and is currently ranked 14th. In April 2015, he briefly held an untied sweep on [[Mr. Blonde's Revenge]] with 1:10/1:13/1:23. Mouser is also fully proven in that game which is rather remarkable considering his inconsistency.
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Mouser became the fifth player to obtain [[Defection]] Agent [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hc8mOlibS4 0:05] and currently holds three untied WRs in Perfect Dark DLTK (Defection, G5 Building and Pelagic II).
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In his spare time, Michael enjoys playing baseball, visiting nearby Eliter [[Alex Anderson]], and mysteriously disappearing. Michael was completely absent from the-elite and gaming for six years (2008-2014) until he made an ''extremely'' surprising comeback where he also finally captured and uploaded the missing PR videos by [[Brandon Sanford]].
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Reasons why Mouser is the most inconsistent eliter of all time include:
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* You never know if or when he is playing or what he is playing.
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* Captured [[Brandon Sanford]]'s missing PR videos (8 years after he received them) but never captured the tapes [[David Clemens]] sent to him at the same time.
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* Just before he made what is easily the most surprising apperance/comeback in Elite history in 2014, Michael joined The Elite Rankings under the name "Jack Krone". Shortly after, Mouser confessed Jack Krone was him and he came up with that name just to "test stuff" or something. After the confession, Jack Krone was, of course, immediately removed from the rankings whereas many players greeted the long-absent Michael.
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* Frequently hoards and releases PRs in random order.
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* Has never had a consistent timespage and will never have one.
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* For reasons unknown, Michael somehow decided to go for the untied WR on [[Defection]] DLTK. He completed a run in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9U4dm-AdhA 1:29] thus beating the previous WR which was 1:38. 1:29 beats Michael's [[Perfect Agent]] PR of 1:38 (although, according to his PD file, his best PA time is 1:34). As expected, Michael never bothered to lower his LTK PR of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_l2GRopD0U 2:07] and he most likely never will.
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* Achieved quite a few PAL PRs on [[Perfect Dark]] but never updated them all and probably never will.
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* Whenever eliters think of the word "inconsistent", the majority of them immediately associate the word with Mouser.
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Michael is a very skilled player who never should be left out or underestimated, but also ''extremely'' sketchy. Do '''NOT''' be surprised if he randomly disappears for a few years.
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== External Links ==
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* [http://rankings.the-elite.net/~MouserScribe/goldeneye Mouser's Goldeneye Times and Videos]
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* [http://quentin.meunier.free.fr/gewrs/players.php?player=michael_kirkness Mouser's GE World Records]
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* [http://rankings.the-elite.net/~MouserScribe/perfect-dark Mouser's Perfect Dark Times and Videos]
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* [http://quentin.meunier.free.fr/gewrs/players.php?player=michael_kirkness Mouser's PD World Records]
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* [http://thengamer.com/xstats/elite/ranks.php?name=Mouse Mouser's Contest History]
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{{2008 Elite Summer Contest}}
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[[Category:People]]
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[[Category:Eliters]]
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[[Category:Canadians]]
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